


leaving, yet again

by badabeebadaboo



Series: Autumn Days [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: But I love them together, Character Study, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Goodbyes, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Relationship Study, Romance, can be read as platonic, reader's interpretation :), they all need therapy but they're making progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25431103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badabeebadaboo/pseuds/badabeebadaboo
Summary: All Leorio wishes for is peace and safety for his friend. It's a quiet autumn evening, the atmosphere in his apartment is finally as calm as it can be, almost tranquil with Kurapika reading in the back. But sometimes things aren't as easy as you want them to be, and you've got to wait a little longer again.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: Autumn Days [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878511
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	leaving, yet again

The rhythmic tick of the old vintage clock on the wall was something Leorio only noticed when he was completely relaxed; which was usually a good sign. After all the shifts of his medical internship, relaxation wasn't normally a part of his schedule. Yet somehow, by a miracle, he was currently standing in front of the stove, absent-mindedly stirring some vegetables in the frying pan and joyfully humming along to a quiet tune on the radio. Outside, the early autumn days had already urged the sun to set, but the warmth of the day lingered in the air, slow breezes brushing Leorio's skin through the open window from time to time. The kitchen lamp next to the fragile dried flowers enlightened the room in a soft, flickering ochre, and now Leorio took the chance to appreciate his surroundings enough. He never noticed how his best friend organized their spices which were lined up against the wall, or how some of them were neatly labelled in cursive handwriting, probably intended for traditional dishes of his clan.  
He thought of him, thanking all possible Gods that they both managed to find a moment of peace, that there were moments where he finally listened and could almost be convinced of the immediate necessity of getting all the help he could.  
He thought of how he himself could be relieved and stop nibbling on pencils wondering if he'd ever see Kurapika again, or if he'd even be notified in a worst-case scenario.  
He thought back to all the times when all he wished for was this moment of domesticity, when he could finally fill his head with worry about burning the food rather than waking up to the news of his friend gone. Knowing that the blond was now lazily reading while spread out on the couch in the living room was enough of a start.  
As he slowly drifted in his thoughts, he didn't register his friend's presence until a small hand on his shoulder indicated that he was expected to move, and he jumped slightly, but did, as Kurapika reached for the kettle on the stove to fill it with water. 

“You should be more aware of your surroundings, Leorio, I could have been using Zetsu and would be perfectly able to attack you with deathly intentions.”, Kurapika said, as he studied how much water was filling the kettle.  
'Well, let's all hope you wouldn't...' Leorio muttered, eyes still blankly focused on the pan.  
Silence fell between the two and Kurapika calmly went to stand next to Leorio, his shoulder brushing barely against the middle of the taller man's biceps, and set the kettle down. It was also him who spoke first again.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
“Oh, nothing.”  
“Please, I could hear your thoughts from the living room. And be careful, you already had three lectures today, and you have an early one tomorrow, now is not the time to question your brain's capacity.”  
That bastard. Leorio sighed, but didn't act. Probably suspicious by the lack of a usual comeback, or startled by silence, Kurapika lifted his chin towards Leorio and looked at him.  
“Seriously, Leorio, I'm genuinely concerned.”  
Leorio shrugged, and stirred a bit in the vegetables, more with the intention to move and pretend to be doing something, anything, than actually focusing on the cooking.  
“'dunno. Everything”, he started, scrubbing at some burnt zucchinis, “Us. How it's all turning out.” He turned down the heat a bit, then added, “You.”  
That earned him a bizarre look with a single brow knitted on the other's face.  
“It's not over yet, you know.”  
“Yes, yes, of course, I'm just...”  
“I know. It's just that I can't settle down before I find the eyes, and put my grief to rest with them.”  
Leorio smirked and met Kurapika's eyes, noticing the corner of his lips softly lifted.  
“What are you making?”  
“Just some-”  
He was interrupted by the familiar vibration of Kurapika's phone on the kitchen counter, and they exchanged single nods before he watched Kurapika's hands being embraced by his chains when seeing the contact name. Leorio suppressed a sharp exhale but gave Kurapika a stern look, receiving an apologetic frown and a mouthed 'Sorry' as he picked up the phone and excused himself back to the living room.  
He immediately recognised the indistinctive chatter and sighed. He knew how his friend was pacing around and was probably doing his best to contain his anger. If it was a call from work, and it always was, then the news was never exactly pleasing. He would be bugged about it for the rest of the night, but if Leorio was lucky, he would maybe even rant about it. Leorio huffed in hope and added some of the traditional herbs.  
He had just finished organizing the mess he had made during the whole process of making dinner for them both, when he heard the rather abrupt ending to the call and curiously turned his head towards the door. The cloth in his hands was immediately dropped on the counter at the sight of the blond buttoning up his suit and fumbling with a fittingly black tie.  
“No. 'Peeks, it's 11 pm, what are you doing?”, he tried to keep the alarm out of his voice, only partially successful as he watched the other quickly rushing all around the apartment, fetching keys, phone and other necessities.  
“I- I'm sorry. I need to go. They want me in, it's the boss, she's unmanageable again, and...”  
“Pika, tell me the truth.”  
He stopped for a second and faced Leorio, who was leaning against the stove with his arms crossed.  
“This is the partial truth”, he said, eyes looking down, “She's really out of her mind again. And her father's out of town too, so-”  
“Where's her father?”  
Kurapika gulped, locking eyes with Leorio and putting as much of apology, regret and hope into the look as possible.  
“He's after the eyes.”  
“And you're not going to the boss herself, are you?”  
“No. I'm not. But Leorio-”  
“Let me come with you.”  
“No, not this time.” Shock, maybe even fear lit up in his eyes, when he sternly shook his head, “but for me, this is important, you don't understand, there's finally a trace, and, and-”  
“Hey, Pika, I do understand.” It was his turn to look down now, pinching the bridge of his nose, but unable to keep the anger down.  
“You do?” the words suddenly pierced through the air, cold and sharp and annoyed by getting constantly interrupted, cutting the previous harmonic atmosphere. “Because I think the hell you don't.” It was bitter, tense.  
“Look, the only thing I'm trying to tell you-”  
“But you don't understand!”, he cried, visibly shaking now, voice trembling but harsh. “You can't understand, because this is none of your business, and-” His hand shot up to mouth quickly, as if not wanting to believe his own words. After a few calming breaths and a look into Leorio's hurtful expression which lay beneath the crumbling facade, he straightened up his shoulders and swallowed the rest of his sentence.  
“It's been so long”, he started again, “since I've set this goal. Please, I'm not asking you to understand, and I'm not asking for your support, and, and I'm especially not asking for your help, but Leorio, it's been so, _so_ long. And I'm almost done, those are one of the last ones, I promise.” His voice got quieter with the last words, barely audible at the end. Still, Leorio was pleased to see the progress they've achieved during the past few months. He was very well aware that this kind of conversation was a huge step forward, comparing it to unanswered calls and weeks of ignored texts as in the beginning.  
“And what will you do once you're done?” The words escaped bitterly, knowing he had maybe pressed a bit too much.  
And he had. Kurapika's lips drew tightly into a frown, something that might have been a choked sob got stuck in this throat. “Please,” the blond vigorously shook his head, voice sounding an octave higher than before, “Not now.”  
Something about the behaviour or the words of his best friend made Leorio realize two things. First, that his friend was holding something back. It may have been anything; a piece of confidential information, the seriousness of the situation, the true meaning of the phone call or his plan, the danger he was pulling himself into, even his fear that he was not ready to verbalize, maybe all of the above. The second thing, however, was that he was holding himself back for Leorio's sake. Hell, over the many years they've known each other, Leorio was never the better one to read people. Except for Kurapika though, whom he could read like an open book, and better than Kurapika could read himself. And he knew too, that whatever was hurting Kurapika silently, he would always hide from Leorio, intending to lighten up the burden. How damn much he wanted him to know that he'd never be a burden, and that those moments would still slowly rip each of his heartstrings, one by one. 

__

__

“So you're leaving. Again.” Bitter, bitter and spiky words, used and washed out after their continuous use.  
“Yes.” Barely more than a breath, held and not daring to move.  
“For how long?”  
“I don't know.”  
“Will you even be back?”  
“I-”  
“How dangerous will it be?” Leorio interrupted, dreading the answer to the previous question and deciding to better leave it to exist in the room.  
“I-I really don't know, I-”  
“For heaven's sake, Kurapika. You can't just throw yourself into something if you're not sure about the outcome.”  
“Not until I haven't tried.”  
“That's not how this underground, mafia... thingy works though, you should know best.”  
“I do, and this is why I'm telling you that I at least have to try. For them, Leorio.” 

Leorio had steadily moved towards his smaller figure, which now seemed even more fragile and tiny, unsure what to do with itself at this point, and wrapped his arms tightly around the shaking shoulders.  
“You'll always have my support, you dumbass.”, he muttered while carefully stroking strays of the shoulder long blond hair, letting it slide through his fingers. The response in form of a stuffed chuckle eased the knot around his heart a bit, and he let out a breath. “You've always had it, since that day you told me about the scarlet eyes. And your plan. And when you practically _guided_ all of us through the exam, shut up, yes, even when I called you a self-centred idiot.” He lowered his head a bit to speak more directly, the laugh of his friend light and honest, cheek pressed against his chest. 

“I'd be more than honoured to help. Look, I might not be the most, uh, practical, but I'll do anything. Kurapika, listen, _anything_. I mean it. Let me help. Let _us_ help.” A small sniff made his lips curl into a relieved smile. They stood quiet for a while, not daring to break the peace, not daring to let go and part again for who knows how long. Hours, days, weeks, or months – it had even been years before. But as their breathing steadied and heartbeats synchronised, a subconscious agreement that it would never be months again was made and sealed. 

“Peeks, you're the fricking manager of this whole household-”  
“You mean Gon, Killua, his sisters and you?”  
“Duh”, he chuckled, as the other pulled away from the hug and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve, rosy nose wrinkled and eyes finding back their usual wit.  
“We need you. _I_ need you. Just... stay safe, Peeks, okay?”  
“I'll keep you updated.”, he smiled, holding his phone up in demonstration. Good. So good, for a start. Leorio nodded, thankfully, slowly following his friend to the door, while the other was hectically gathering his belongings and still wiping his face, sniffing from time to time. As if not daring to accept this as a last goodbye, Leorio patted Kurapika on the shoulder and leaned against the door frame to the corridor, hands buried but fisted in the pockets. The latter was now standing in the entrance hall, putting on his shoes, eyes checking for forgotten details.  
“I'll be back”, he suddenly announced, lacing his shoes, “And we'll cook whatever you were just doing, or attempting, but together. And if we fail, as we should-” He shifted to tie the other shoe, “Because we both even fail at cooking rice, then we'll just order take out or go out, wherever you want. And I'll read my books to you, even if you'll eventually fall asleep, or tell you about my clan and traditions, or tell you that _this-_ ”, he stood up and pointed at the, indeed very messy, shoe shelf where Leorio barely bothered to keep order, “is not how you keep your shoes clean.” He curled his pointed finger back before letting the hand fall onto his bag and letting his fists bump a few times, as in indicating that he was ready. Ready to leave and damn, it hurt. But his eyes met Leorio's, and maybe it wouldn't be too bad waiting for another while. He chuckled, looked down and then back up immediately before forcing his raspy voice to say, “Yea. Yes, I'd love that, very much.” Another smiling nod found his eyes before the blond turned around and opened the door. It felt like opening the door back to reality, back to danger and scarlet blood, but simultaneously to hope, and life, and blossom. He stepped out, Leorio's eyes still focused on the back of the blond head, sighing quietly, catching a glimpse of the single red earring of hope. Suddenly, those eyes met a reassuring smile and warm but focused and determined eyes. 

“Leorio?”  
“Hm?”  
“I'll come home.” 

The stirred vegetables were long forgotten when Leorio dropped onto the couch and silently picked up the book Kurapika had been reading before.

**Author's Note:**

> sup! I finally decided to give it a try and write my very first own oneshot, and it's honestly so much fun to play with the characters and test out what you can do, hehe  
> hopefully, you liked my interpretation, but I always wanna improve, so criticize the heck out of me or just leave a comment, or not, everything is welcomed and appreciated :)


End file.
